,为您。
本章副标题:把装逼进行到底
“爱迪生先生,你得了糖尿病!是不是这样?”
“哦,买糕的。这实在是太神奇了!”
老爱迪生还没来及回话,小爱迪生就失声惊呼了出来。
“我父亲确实得了糖尿病,而且……”
袁大神医接口道:“而且你父亲还有慢性肾炎。”
西奥多-爱迪生听了这句话,更加激动地道:“天哪,袁先生。这你也说对了!不用验血也不用验尿,连听诊器体温计都不用……这实在太神奇了!”
“袁先生,你是怎么做到的呢?!”
旁边的路易斯-贝克也是一副好奇宝宝的模样,跟着问道:“是啊,尼奥。你是怎么看出来的呢?!”
听到两人的询问,袁燕倏脸色一整,形容一肃,顿时让几人觉得莫测高深了起来。
此时此刻,煌煌的灯月辉光好似为袁大神医镀了一层鎏金珐琅,萧萧的一阵晚风拂过却吹不动他颀长英挺的身形。
我们的袁大师缓缓地负手身后,微微地抬起英俊的脸庞四十五度向天。
这真是:神似云淡,人比风轻。鹤舞白沙,燕归红塔。(笔者注:吸烟有害健康。)
一派世外高人范儿的袁燕倏既不看这两个一脸好奇的青年,也不瞧那两位惊讶无语的老者。他背对着四人只是重重地叹了一口气……
“大师球,为毛这也要收B币啊?!而且要收五万啊啊??!!你为什么不去抢啊啊啊???!!!”
“宿主,你强行使用未开放的医学类资料,本系统不‘皮卡丘’就已经法外开恩了,你还嫌贵?”
“呼……”
“尼奥。尼奥?尼奥!”
被这破系统气的脑仁疼,同时还为少了整整五万B币而心肝疼的袁燕倏终于转过身来,
他微皱着眉头,很是不快地道:“啊,你们问我是怎么诊断的吗?”
袁大神医的这个态度是有些恶劣,不过在座四人包括脾气很是暴躁的老爱迪生都没有介意,这是因为这个中国人真的是一位高人啊,高人的性子总是有些古怪的吗。
人生经验丰富的乔治-贝克先生善解人意地道:“尼奥,如果这涉及到你们中医的秘密手段,你可以不说的。”
“没关系的,贝克先生。”袁大师勉强挤出一丝笑容道,“这不是什么秘密手段,只不过我在想怎么解释你们听得懂。”
他沉吟了一下,开口道:“先生们,就像我说的,我们中医诊断病情的手段有四种,我称之为four diagnostic methods,也叫做4S。”
“第一种就是SEE……”
“我首先注意到爱迪生先生坐下之后就在不停地喝水。现在是11月底,我们又在室外,天气根本不热反而还有点冷,我们大家几乎没有出汗。那么他不是在补充水分,应该只是觉得口渴而已。”
“其次一点,我发现他还吃了不少餐前面包,我想爱迪生先生是不会少这点吃的。那么就他这个年纪来说,这样的胃口真是好得出奇。”
他拿起一把餐刀,想了想之后放下刀子拿起了勺子,对着大发明家抱歉地一笑道:“爱迪生先生,能不能请你配合一下?”
作为发明家,托马斯-爱迪生自然有着超过常人的好奇心,因此他点头道:“当然。”
袁燕倏走上前去,用勺子柄使劲地戳了戳他的脸上皮肤道:“先生们,你们也看到了吧。爱迪生的皮肤很是松弛,这说明他在短时间内暴瘦过。胃口这么好的人为什么会突然瘦下来了呢?”
“其实,如果能观察到以上三点,不管是我们中医或者你们西医,只要是一位经验丰富的医生都可以做出一个大致的判断,爱迪生先生很有可能得了糖尿病……”
“细致的观察!精辟的推导!!尼奥,你可以称之为医学界的‘福尔摩斯’了!!!”路易斯-贝克忍不住喝彩道。
其他三人也心悦诚服地点头不已。
我们的袁大师心说,有了结果往前反推,当然细致、当然精辟、当然袁尔摩斯了。
他风度十足地摆手道:“路易,谢谢。那么接下来就是我们中医独有的手段了。”
“各位请看!”
袁燕倏向大发明家说了一句“抱歉”,上前一步用力地翻开了爱迪生先生的下眼皮,口中说道:“爱迪生先生不但下眼皮浮肿,而且里面颜色鲜红。按照我们中医的理论,这是肾脏受到损害同时血液里面含有毒素的表征。”
“爱迪生先生,请把舌头伸出来。”接下来袁大师指着大发明家舌苔道,“先生们,你们应该也看到他的舌苔发白,上面还有裂纹,这是身体虚弱,元气亏虚所导致的现象。”
“以上就是我SEE到的情况。第二种就是SMELL。”
袁燕倏顿了顿道:“不知道你们发现没有,爱迪生先生说话的时候一句话要停顿好几次,这就是我们中医说的‘中气不足’。他的听力也不太好,而我们中医认为一个人的听力强弱和他的肾脏健康状态有着直接的联系。”
“恕我直言,他口中的气味也不是很好,靠近之后能闻到他身上也有一种怪味。我想爱迪生先生这样的绅士是不会不注意个人卫生情况的,那么这肯定都是某种病变引起的。”
“至于第三种那就是SYPHYGMUS。这也是我们中医最为重要的诊断手段,不过这比较复杂,不学个十年八年根本摸不着门道。恕我就不详细解释了。”
“第四种也就是最后一种是SEEK。其实就是询问病人和家属各种细节。不过鉴于爱迪生先生的症状比较明显,我就没必要多问了。”
我们的袁大师向着四人点了点头道:“先生们,就是这样!”
然后他一脸淡然地回到原来的座位,拿起伏特加马提尼,慢条斯理地喝了一口。
而这个时候四个老外都听傻了,他们不但被中医的“4S”给折服了,而且都深深地体会到了眼前这个中国人细致入微的观察能力和鞭辟入里的逻辑思维。
就像小贝克先生说的那样,他绝对能被称为医学界的“福尔摩斯”!
老贝克先生率先回过神来,他举起酒杯向袁燕倏致意道:“尼奥,十分精彩的诊断!我没有想到一次医学诊断都能如此地引人入胜。而你们中医诊断手法真的让人叹为观止……是不是这样,托马斯?”
大发明家有些悻悻地说道:“袁先生确实让我改变了一些对你们东方人的看法。不过我还是认为袁先生如果学习西医的话,你的成就会更大。”
“是啊。”小爱迪生先生接口道:“袁先生,你肯定能成为一位杰出的大医学家……对了,你为什么不学习医学而是选择政治经济学呢?”
我们的袁大师脸色一正,严肃地回答道:“西奥多-爱迪生先生,医学家只能拯救人的生命。而我……”
“不但想要拯救我的祖国,还要医治整个世界!”om,。
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