：mayiwxw
乌磊委委屈屈的答应转岗，而张燕平却招呼乔乔：
「来来来，闲着的话，想想接下来教小朋友做什么？你这个月直播还差两个小时呢！」这都已经是月底了。
乔乔一愣，刚准备说话，就见莲花婶端着一大盆的萝卜苗经过，他瞬间就有教案了！「我今天教小朋友们腌萝卜缨！」
15亩地的稠密萝卜苗梳理出来，那可着实有不少。相比之下，来帮忙的村里人一人一筐子，简直就像九牛一毛。
而那些间下来的萝卜苗一顿两顿吃不完，就被莲花婶和家里人一起清洗干净，直接挂在竹竿上晾晒了。
不过昨天忙着，又没太阳，所以多耽误了一点时间，但问题不大。如今下着雨没法干活儿，可不就正适合在家腌萝卜缨嘛！
张燕平想起那好吃的流油的萝卜缨炒猪油渣，此刻也是吸溜吸溜，于是二话不说打开直播间猝不及防就猝不及防吧。
然而他忘了，他在几十万粉丝面前把西瓜酱和酱豆子一鸽再鸽，如今直播一开，当先涌入的弹幕不是跟主播问好打招呼，而是骂骂咧咧：
狗贼！我叫你一声大哥，你敢把酱豆子上架吗？终有一日刀在手，杀进天下鸽我狗！
西瓜酱西瓜酱西瓜酱！酱豆子酱豆子酱豆子
你卖啊！你卖啊！我有钱了，我有钱了你卖啊！
黑道大哥我可是老粉，你不要不识抬举，等我跪下来求你......
张燕平：......
尴尬。
太忙事儿太多，今天倒是有时间也适合开工，但他忘了。如今外头雨幕不停，酱缸也没法开啊！既然如此.....
他后退一步，保证直播间不会拍到自己，然后帮乔乔把手机架好：「乔乔，来吧！跟大家讲讲我们给小朋友的礼物。」
乔乔「哦」了一声，压根不知道直播间的热闹，他只是殷勤的拿出菜板和刀来坐在廊下：「小朋友们，今天教大家腌萝卜缨！」
一边说着，一边把盆子拽过来，同时解释道：「这些萝卜缨当初准备寄出去送给排行榜前三的，地址都私信问过了。」
「但是小张哥说—小张哥你们知道吗？他是送快递特别快的小张哥。小张哥说这个萝卜苗太嫩了，特别容易发蔫，如果要走保鲜冰运的话特别贵.....」
他话还没说完，弹幕已经发了疯。
什么？还有这种福利？我现在打赏来得及吗？
地址都私信过了？我没有看到，一定是把我漏掉了！我不管，我不管我就要吃！！！快递到付行吗？
就是！快递到付我可以
主播看我！我是前三啊我到付啊啊啊！不知道为什么内心有一股淡淡的窃喜
前面的我懂你，反正我也吃不到，不如大家都吃不到如果有榜三，我真的会嫉妒到发疯
而乔乔却是拢起一把晾晒的发蔫的萝卜缨，而后放在菜板上，手起刀落，唰唰唰唰，迅速的将它们切成了碎末。
同时还继续讲解：「所以姐姐说，就不寄萝卜缨了，改寄腌萝卜缨......你们会喜欢吃吗？真的很好吃哦！」
弹幕：......哇的一声哭出来
为什么？为什么我连萝卜叶子都没看到，别人却可以吃主播亲手做的腌萝卜缨？就问一句，卖吗？
别拦我，我要平等的怨恨每一个得到的人创死！创死！我要创死这群抢我萝卜缨的！上链接上链接！！！
乔乔动作不停，他和莲花婶儿面对面坐着，面前的萝卜缨一把又
一把，都在刀下成了颗粒均匀的碎末。
而七表爷。看着篮子里萝卜缨不多了，又从另一头的架子上拿下一大盆来：「给我让个地方，我来揉。」
「好。」乔乔果断站起来用脚勾着板凳换地方，看七表爷在旁边洗手，他还不忘解说：
「腌萝卜缨，就是要像现在这样，洗干净先晾晒半天一天，然后切成碎末.......小朋友们可以自己在家买来练习，我们家的不卖，因为姐姐说这个揉出来就会变得很少，刚好留着我们自己家吃。」
这下子，弹幕的哭声比刚才还要剧烈。
谁受得了啊，眼睁睁看着好吃的就在眼前，可人家愣是不卖？！气哭我！
好恨！我上个月一杯奶茶都没有喝，就是为了在这里花钱，凭什么不给我机会？求求了......你们这里就有那么多了，肯定还有......卖一点也够吃啊
没出息，一个萝卜缨子都让你们这样！我就不一样了，主播我跪下来求你行吗？前三默默狂喜
主播你听我的，前三的大佬打赏那么多，肯定不缺萝卜缨这种乡间小菜！我就不一样了，我缺
好家伙，事成定局了，还有人来截胡呢？！
这弹幕一发，榜三其中的两位都立刻又嗖嗖嗖的开始打赏了。
但乔乔一点没注意，他只是将镜头给到七表爷，七表爷正对着面前大盆里的萝卜缨碎末倒盐，还对乔乔说话：「看好了。揉的力度越好，吃起来越脆爽。」
乔乔一边「嗯嗯」点头，一边也用心当老师：
「小朋友们，揉萝卜缨要先在上面撒上盐，然后用力揉，像揉面一样，把里头的汁水都揉出来。
他一边说着，举着镜头的白皙手掌在七表爷面前晃来晃去，七表爷皱一皱眉，还是补充道：「我年纪大，做惯了活儿，手上不怕盐不怕辣椒。你要揉的话，记得戴手套。」
不然等会儿又是盐又是辣椒的，可有的苦头吃。「哦哦哦。」乔乔不断点头：
「小朋友们听到了吗？要带手套哦！」小朋友们不想学知识，只想花钱主播你卖给我我就不用带手套了我不听我不听我不听！
就要买就要买就要买！！
有什么了不起的？不就是萝卜缨吗，迟早有一天我能知道主播住哪里！只有我还记得西瓜酱吗？
可恶不卖你还转移注意力啊啊啊我的酱豆子！！！我话放这儿了！这钱我非花不可！mayiwxw
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